HOwMZ

Thank you for your interest in my column, Hands On with Mr Z. I thoroughly enjoy not only writing it each week, but I also love working on the projects that make the column what it is. Please read some of the sample columns available below. If you would be interested in running the Hands On with Mr Z in your publication, please let me know at scottzeilenga@live.com or 712-324-1881. Below is information and 4 sample columns for you to read. Enjoy.

For your information : (1) Hands On with Mr Z is exclusively for newspapers. I will not be publishing it on my blog or any online publication. (2) I finish the column on Monday morning of each week, so depending on when you publish, I can send it right away on Monday or email it at your convenience. (3) Each column hovers around 380 to 400 words depending on subject matter. It shouldn’t be too hard to estimate a typical size for your layout each week.

Here are some samples of the column.

Hands On with Mr Z
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It all began with a pink porch.
When we purchased our first home – a 728 square foot bungalow style house built in 1914 – I was well aware that the neon pink front deck just didn’t belong. It was an eyesore, if nothing else. I figured it would eventually need a more neighborhood-friendly paint job. Maybe brown. Unfortunately, though, it wasn’t only ugly. Before the first boxes went in on moving day, I discovered that it was also dangerous. I put my foot through it and upon further investigation realized that the wood was severely rotten. So, the first two weeks of living in our new home were spent tearing off the lipstick-colored porch in preparation for a new deck of my own design in it’s place.
That’s when it hit me. This little house might give me big projects.
I wouldn’t necessarily have called it a fixer-upper when we bought it, but projects never stop popping up, so maybe it is. The pink porch was only the first of many. When that went well enough for me to be happy with, I started making excuses to do other stuff around my house that probably should have been left to the professionals. With a lot of help from my wife (even if only in the form of encouraging words) I have tackled everything from carpeting to painting to landscaping to carpentry. And, believe me when I tell you, there is many more hats to wear and projects to accomplish before this house is complete.
But, our little house isn’t the only place I get my hands dirty each week. I have all sorts of projects on my plate. Everything from arts & crafts to volunteering at church and homemade percussion instruments to helping other people with their big projects will be on my list of things to write about here. Plus, I have a long list of previous adventures which could easily be included.
So, even though this is very much amateur hour and, besides job experience, I don’t have formal education in any of this stuff, I invite you to read along as I get creative, make 1000 mistakes and do things the hard way.
I am learning as I go, and you get to watch the show.

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Hands On with Mr Z
facebook.com/MrZprojects

This flooring project needed to get done. We had grossly underestimated the time it would take. What was supposed to be a weekend project was now going on eight days. Sure we had problems along the way – linoleum bandages and tree fatalities – which made for decent excuses. But having the entertainment cabinet in the kitchen was driving Mrs Z insane, so I had to put this project to bed.
We had rented a drum sander for the uneven parts of the subflooring. But after I tore through five sheets of sandpaper, I wanted to throw it out the window. I returned it and bought tar paper for a vapor barrier.
Now, the heart of the project – laying the boards.
This isn’t as easy as you might think. The flooring we purchased was utility grade. It was far from perfect. Knots, warps, twists and ends that weren’t square. As we were racking it we often had to run out to the miter saw and cut off an end, or throw an entire piece away because it was too bent. (If you ever decide to do your own floor with utility grade, take note.. This can be a big hassle.) But slowly and surely we laid one row, then another. It seemed like the first five rows took all day. We were finding our rhythm though, and picking up speed. Ten rows. Twenty rows. And done.
It looked nice already, but it still needed stain. Unfortunately, the first stain we tried left a lot of blotches. I wasn’t happy with it, so reluctantly I rented the sander again. I sanded the whole thing down to bare wood. Try again. Thankfully, the second stain we applied worked like a charm.
Then, after three coats of polyurethane, we called it a finished project. It was hard work, but looking at it now, I am proud of our efforts.
Z’s work notes : Even though you rented a pneumatic floor nailer, it still takes a good whack with the mallet to get the nail to go in all the way. Believe me, hanging nails are a pain in the butt. Keep a large flathead screwdriver and a hammer nearby. They’ll be useful for tapping in nails or carving grooves into the boards.

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Hands On with Mr Z
facebook.com/MrZprojects

I always try to use the whole buffalo, so to speak. Leftover pieces from projects rarely get thrown out around here. I keep it and use it later. Whether it is a handful of drywall screws at the bottom of a paper bag or a length of nylon cord, it gets filed away in my workbench. And extra wood, that versatile commodity, is even more valuable. I assume this is typical of most do-it-yourself people.
With last week’s project I had an entire cabinet leftover.
So, not wanting to drag it to the basement, we discussed turning it into a kitchen island. I liked the idea of retaining the cabinet’s storage and adding counter space is always good. Plus, if it’s moveable, we’d be able to push to the side during meals. Ok, a kitchen island it is then.
Since we had left the counter top in place when installing the dishwasher, this island was going to need a top. I considered making a butcher’s block surface out of leftover oak flooring from the living room (see, leftovers are good), but Mrs Z said she didn’t know if the look fit our kitchen décor. Instead she came back from Spirit Lake one day, having visited a reclaimed building materials store, with a Formica counter top that matched our existing counters to a T. Very good. I cut a foot off one end to make it more manageable and secured it to the cabinet with 2 inch star-head deck screws (from yet another project).
I also wanted to adapt it for mobility without damaging our vinyl flooring. So, after measuring the depth of cabinet base, I mounted four large casters to a couple 2×4s beneath it. That lifted the whole thing up a half inch, kept the casters hidden and allowed the entire island to roll.
Now we have a new dishwasher and a new island. With a little work and ingenuity our kitchen is really coming together.
Z’s work notes : Obviously, when you are keeping leftovers and scrap pieces, things can get disorganized quickly. Before you know it, your workshop (or house) is a mess. This week I finally cleared my bench and started utilizing my toolbox and storage drawers. Now those screws and nylon cords and doorknob parts all have their own spot.

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Hands On with Mr Z
facebook.com/MrZprojects

“It’s hard work, but, if you want the job, it’s yours.”
The next morning, happy to be employed, but oblivious to what lay ahead, I pulled on steel-toed boots and a pair of my grimiest jeans, and went off to join the crew of a plastering company as their sole laborer. Each morning I’d get up at five in the morning, and bus into the city to meet the others. Then, depending on the size of the job, I would labor away until five or six at night, and trek back home again. It took me weeks to get into the swing of things, but once I got past early mornings and physical requirements, I settled right in. And my boss was right; it was hard work.
Now, if you’re curious, in the field of drywall and plastering, a laborer’s duties include doing everything except the drywall and the plastering – at least with my crew that is. After arriving at the site I’d have to first prepare everything. The hose used to wash buckets and clean tools had to be run from a local spigot. The 5 gallon buckets to mix the plaster in had to come from the trailer. Tarps had to be laid. Window frames and trim needed to be taped. And the bags of dry plaster needed to be moved to the work area.
This all was done quickly, of course – maybe 10 minutes – while the guys set up their tools.
But that only started things off. The rest of my day consisted of mixing water and dry plaster into a perfect consistency, running the mud between three or four ladder-bound plasterers, and keeping the buckets and tools clean. I know that doesn’t sound that hard on paper, but it was nonstop labor. No breaks. No excuses. No pity.
And that hard work changed me.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that being a plastering laborer is the hardest job out there. An evening of watching Deadliest Catch or Ax Men should prove it isn’t. But the competition for hardest job can be judged later. My point is when you find a job that is difficult or physically demanding – which may be different for each person – don’t shy away from taking it on. Maybe, there, like me, you will find your true strength and outperform even your expectations.

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Again, please feel free to contact me if you think Hands On with Mr Z may be right for your publication. scottzeilenga@live.com and 712.324.1881 Thanks.